A Broken Void
by obsessedStuck
Summary: What else can you do but be the best friend you can be?


A fill for HSWC Bonus Round 1

**Dirk3Roxy (unrequited)**  
_"And if you're happy, I am too  
And if you're sleeping, I'm with you_

But you love someone else  
But you want to be with someone else  
And I can't believe how dumb I sound" -Sufjan Stevens, _Dumb I Sound_

* * *

You were his friend of course you were going to listen to him when he needed someone to talk to. Even if it was about his boyfriend you would endure it. What made him happy made you happy and that was all that mattered. No matter what happened you would be sure to be there for him. That's what friends were for.

"Hey Roxy are you listening?" a voice interrupted your thoughts.

"Hm? Oh yeah of course I am. Keep going. Tell Mama Roxy all your boy troubles Dirky," you tuned back into whatever he was venting out to you about.

"Right well as I was saying. Lately I'm getting kind of scared at what I'm doing. Am I trying too hard? Am I pushing at him and scaring him? It's hard to tell. He just keeps smiling and says everything's A ok or something of the sort. Not sure if he'd ever try and tell me if I'm ever bothering him you know?"

"Maybe you gotta pull on the reins a teeny bit. Don't wanna overwhelm him right. But I'm sure he'd tell you if there was something wrong. You two are dumb lovebirds after all and there should be no secrets between the two of you now."

"Yeah I'm lucky enough that he accepted so I should back of a bit I guess," he chuckled nervously, "I just don't want to mess up but at the same time I don't want him to think I'm neglecting him."

"Dirk the last thing he has to worry about is you neglecting him. You talk to him all the time so I'm sure you're perf in that department ok," you reassured him.

"Yeah . . ." he leaned back from where he sat with you on the side of one of the many pyramids on your land. A relieved smile spread across his face, "Everything's going to be fine. I'm really glad he accepted."

You forced a smile yourself, "Yeah good for you. Glad it's working out like you wanted so far. Good to see you happy."

"Thanks Roxy. For everything and taking the time to listen. It means a lot. You're a great friend."

"That's what I'm here for. Anytime you need someone to listen to you then just call me like always. I'll be there."

He turned to smile at you but it quickly disappeared, "Hey are you okay?"

"Huh?"

"You're crying."

You blinked and moved a hand up to your face to find it wet. You had no idea you were crying at all or when it began, "Wha, that's weird. It just started randomly. I didn't notice at all haha."

"What's wrong?" the look of concern on his face made your heart tighten.

"Nothing I think I'm just being over emotional about how stupidly perfect you two are together," you tried to wipe them away but the tears wouldn't stop.

"Are you . . . drunk?" he asked hesitantly.

The insinuation hurt you a bit but you passed it off as nothing, "I think I might be a little. So uh I'm going to sober up ok why don't you go off on another quest with Jakey and I'll catch up with you later ok."

"Um alright."

"Kay bye," you ran off before he could attempt to stop you.

Why were you crying? You should've been happy for him. There was no reason for you to cry. Sure you had loved him for the longest time but he wanted to be with someone else not you. You had known and understood that so why where the tears still falling? Why did it hurt? You liked his smile right? You liked to see him happy even if that smile wasn't directed at you. It was still happiness. He definitely got a little cheerier once Jake accepted to go out with him. So one person happy makes the rest around them happy right? It was supposed to be like some sort of happy contagious disease or something. You thought being the best friend you could possibly be for him would help but instead it may have just made things worse. No maybe that was why it was so painful. He just saw you as his drunk friend like the rest of them did. There was no room for anything else. That's all it was.

Back at your home you huddled in your room and just sat on your bed crying for a while. You locked your door keeping the carapaces out and ignored their worried knocks on your door. About an hour later you got a message from Dirk.

TT: Are you sure you're okay? You left pretty quickly.  
TG: yeah im totes fine  
TG: drank a lil more than i thought and got a little sick is all no need to worry  
TT: You should get some rest then, but I thought you said you stopped drinking?  
TG: old habits die hard I guess but it was my first in a long while promise  
TG: do me a favor and keep it from janey please  
TG: oh jake too  
TG: secret between u and me  
TT: What happened to there being no more secrets between me and Jake?  
TG: hey this is dif  
TG: this is secret about me  
TG: what i ment back there was no secrets about each other between each other  
TG: not all the secrets of the universe  
TT: I was kidding Roxy. Don't worry I'll keep it as long as you don't do it again.  
TG: ok  
TT: Promise?  
TG: promise  
TT: Alright well see you later I guess.  
TG: yeah you go have fun with your loverboy ttyl

"Without me . . ." a smile was on your face but the tears continued to fall once more.

_I'm happy if he's happy. _That was probably one of the dumbest things you could ever think for yourself but you stuck to it anyways no matter how much it ruined you. It was the only way you could still be near him.


End file.
